Man Thoughts: The Integrity of My People

“My integrity will take me a long way.
But our integrity will lift us out of the Miry Clay of Corruption.”- Martin Vito

If you are someone who walks in integrity, I urge you persist on that path. There is plenty of light in that kind of tunnel. The first light is you and the second is the people that you choose to walk, talk and do business with. Diaspora Africans have a challenge on their hands when it comes to believing in and supporting one another. Due to reasons owing to the economic climate we are forced to constantly surf over the depth of our personal and collective insecurities when it comes to matters of trust. We fear back stabbers, gold diggers, oppportunists, frienemies and adulterers in various forms. Sometimes it seems we would rather fear them or become them. In reality we have to confront them.

We cannot even speak long enough about our social ills before someone starts showing off about their personal achievements and attainments that only conclude on the note of personal glory. In that personal story no one else is included, no flag can be raised and no true honour can be awarded because our efforts are for selfish gain and not collective establishment of a decent vantage point. Our brand of teamwork is constantly laced with selfish ambition. The corruptions of the few become the corruptions of the many when we say nothing.

Our Family structures are riddled with secrets of things no one ever talks about. When will we ask ourselves the deeper questions about where we came from and whats resident in our DNA? Is my selfish ambition, emotional dysfunction, sexual addiction, impenetrable pride, pornographic desire a condition imposed on me by the nation I am in or a descendant of my “unknown” ancestors? If it is a combination of the two then I must weed out what is in me and spread the message of that clearance.

At some stage someone will have to ask the pertinent question about personal Family History before they ask us about National History. Secondary to that question should be where does my Family sit in connection to the history of my nation of origin.

The answers to these very two questions will start an avalanche of drive and courage to correct the wrongs passed on through ignorance and write the story that best reflects a heart sobered by deep discovery.

©Martin Vito 2014
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mrvitouk@gmail.com
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Relationship Notes:- Thoughts about My Mrs

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If my wife could rap bars that would be a shambles..
But my wife speaks words of wisdom just check her twitter handles

We belong together like a tweet and a hash tag
To me shes more attractive than the sexiest girl
in a black dress with black heels and a black bag

More Money isn’t everything, she reminds me Im a boss
When I clocked I was a King and she was the Queen
I was prepared to pay the cost

Daily I Grow with her by my side,
And so we Live like we on the otherside
I Love her with the Love of Christ

I will continue to show her more reasons why
I am the right guy, By Loving her with the right mind

Her respect in my life is a bright light that defines
Little wonder people like me always sound like a star who Just saw a sign.

In reality, my wife Mrs Lola Vito is an inspiration to a lot of my present actions. She inspires me and others in the most interesting ways. Shes a woman of quality words and quality actions. She seeks to help me and others whenever needed. She is the woman that saw me where I was and sees me for the man that I am now and the man that I need to be.

To my brothers I wish many more of you would find or at least accept some help on to keep a good woman. Hey with your permission I will some day sit you down and encourage you to be the right man for a good woman.

A GOOD WOMAN DOESNT just LOOK GOOD but she IS GOOD. She knows her worth and keeps her eyes on the truth behind everything. She is not in love with just the idea of marriage she actually respects the man shes married to. She is growing up in perfection(Mature application of her greatest virtues and is in constant awareness of the grace available for her greatest weaknesses). She like any woman ready for a greater life becomes uncomfortable with changes she needs to make but before long she becomes the change that she wants to see. Lola has earned her place in my life without compromises but through consistency and standing for the right things.

IN REFLECTION
All men look at women but very few men even know who they are looking for. Very few men are honest with themselves let alone with the women they look at.

People keep asking Where are all the good men gone? Probably under a mountain of issues brought on by compromise, pride, pleasure, side chicks and some because they dont have the money to appear like he wants to the woman of his “wet dreams”.

Where are all the good women gone? Somewhere making money, spending money beneath the compromise of habitually dating unworthy men whilst searching for someone who they “DO NOT KNOW 🙈” and most times cannot see. Too many “good women” are stuck mistaking fools(careless men) for kings(Lovers and leaders) and too many “kings” are turning side chicks into housewives.

I hope in your search for Love you will learn to avoid the pitfalls that come with experimentation and impulse. You have my support at your disposal and dont be shy to ask the questions you need to.

‘Remember Valentines is A Day, Love is a Lifestyle’

@MrVitoSpeaks

Man Thoughts: Real Class has nothing to do with Thine Breast and Thine Ass

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Class has nothing to do with thine Breast and thine Ass
Demand something more of yourself from the depths of your soul
Something valuable that outlasts your lumps and your bumps
Something deeper that goes past the depths of your peaks
Its somewhere in there, hidden beneath your hair
Its somewhere in there, hidden beneath the filters on the photos you share

I wish I could see more of you and not your mutiple views of your figure
I know you think your looks attract me
But sometimes if not most times your looks attack me.
I cannot even appreciate the goodness in you
When I only see that dress is barely even on you.

You would rather get skint trying to show me your skin
You would rather be fair skinned than be fair to your skin.
If my love as a man is not for sale
Why is yours forever on discount even when there is no sale.
I wish you would value YOU more than I do
Because if you did I would learn to love the woman
more as a woman
And not an Idol.
Your eyes look like a dolls and it seems
Your only prize is your hair and your clothes

In all honesty where do I fit in?
If you are only obsessed with being a sex kitten.
My dreams, ambitions cannot fit between your legs
I need them to enter into and be repeated through the holes
In and around your head.

Just remember as you walk around your own ego
Class has nothing to do with thine breast and thine ass

©Martin Vito 2014
Send and Email To
mrvitouk@gmail.com
Tweet Me @MrVitoSpeaks

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Leadership Notes: Reflection And New Thinking

I sincerely hope that my thoughts find you strong and well. As we wrap up 2013 I just want to thank everyone who was a part of my personal developmental process. Admittedly it is not easy to just share ones thoughts especially when they go against the grain of people you may still be talking to and engaging with on a regular basis. Anyway I share because I care, it is what it is.

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Over time I have come to find that if you have a voice, you should speak and in doing so be prepared to accept whatever comes with that voice being heard and that includes the perks and the set backs. In 2013 I encountered so many interesting people who have some great views as well as some with not so great views in relation to mine. I learnt something from all of them and I sincerely hope that they have learnt something from me.

Ironically when we think of our personal development and its implications we rarely look at its impact on others. People who are self focused assume that personal development is all about “Me, Myself, And I” but really the best benefits are usually received by the people right next to you. A better me means that I give better advice to those in need of it, a better me means I see less of myself and more of the amazingness of the people around me. A better me means I trust people with the things that I discern they can handle rather than just what they say with their mouths.

In reflection there is very little I would do differently in 2013. I have made mistakes most especially mistakes unique to my Purpose and my desire to help others.

2014 is that time to improve as I realise what needs to be changed rather than waiting for time to go by before I look closer.

3 Things To do differently In 2014…

1) Stop assuming that just because someone has nodded their head in agreement to something you said it means that they are on the same boat as you concerning all other thoughts around the subject. Its likely that truth is as fleeting as a phone call or whatsapp broadcast. (They never take it seriously unless theres something tangeble in it for them)
“The truth looks good in the time of seeking but its very difficult to maintain in the time of testing”
When you share with someone something that you have discovered to be true over time and they seem on your side but when they are tested on that conviction they crumble and give all the excuses as to why its not such a big deal then perhaps you were never really in agreement. Please get it now. In the absence of agreement even the truth we agreed on can and will become our biggest source of dispute.

2) Leaving important decisions to indecisive people.
In dealing with people you will notice traits that destroy that persons well being as well as yours. When you forsake your convictions because someone is yet to decide which side they are on through their conduct, you subconsciously slow yourself down from progressive development.
You become an accessory to their indecisions.

“Indecision is an enemy to who you are going to be if you already know what you are doing.” Martin Vito

3) Put your hands up when you have tried your best to help and it has been rejected. I am in no way encouraging you to give up on “People” but I am encouraging you to give up on the messy situations in your life that pertain to someone else’s shortcomings most especially when they are not willing work with you. I believe in investing in people but I do not believe in allowing your time to be consumed by wild goose chases.

a) Its a wild goose chase when your contributions are taken with negligence.
b) Its a wild goose chase when your words and actions match up but they still dont believe you have integrity.
c) Its a wild goose chase when you Love them but they dont expect some heat for inconsistency.

Helping a friend is a good thing, but helping a friend and foresaking destiny well thats just dumb. So forgive me if it idoesnt seem like Im interested in chasing someone trying to hide.

That being said Im very much looking forward to speaking at length with those who want to be helped beyond the consmetic level of transformation. Matters of the heart are not taken lightly when they affect your destiny.

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So much more good to come for those who seek answers without reservation.

All things said with Love and Respect
For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks

Relationship Notes: Rose Tinted Glasses(VLog)

Have you ever wondered the reasons behind some of our worst dating disasters?
Are you tired of making the same mistakes over and over again?

Both my lovely wife and I have been in situations we could have more or less avoided had we taken just a little more time to think things through and become a bit more whole hearted about what we wanted from a relationship.

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In this Video we discuss some of the reasons people often stumble into disaster when it comes to dating and we both offer some personal insights into how we can become better at selecting a partner we can be with for a life time.

Theres nothing like a little honesty to get you thinking.
JUST PRESS PLAY

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks

Friendship Short Notes :- Friend or Foe?

“Frenemy” (alternately spelled “frienemy”) is a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” that can refer to either an enemy pretending to be a friend or someone who really is a friend but is also a rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.

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You are reaching that stage in your life where you need to take giant leaps of faith towards what you know to be the next level. Check your company. Some folks shouldn’t be on board your vehicle. They are too busy behaving like anchors at the times you need to set sail and sails when you need to be anchored. You have to be brave enough to step away, break away from friends who are not bringing out the best in you. You must also then be brave enough to stick with those who are fighting for your progress and promotion. Good friendships are not the result of natural selection they are the result of well informed choice. When you defend and fend for Frienemies you inevitably develop a bad taste for good friends. Unfortunately the road to destruction is paved with Frienemy intentions. You also have to quit trying to forge genuine relationships with ingenuine people. Don’t be the reason why your integrity is sold down the river because you were trying to impress a fake smiler when you could have stood better with a genuine person. Sometimes Frienemies get things quicker than Friends and the temptation to stray down the path of discovery with the “know it all” frienemy rather than the “Im discovering with you friend” is strong but if you want to maintain your integrity be sure to check the intentions of your company. Remember your true success is not really about you but what you choose to entertain you.

All things said with Love and Respect
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Relationship Short Notes :- Friends With Benefits

When people hear the word friendship it is safe to assume they are talking about this…

Affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.

It’s amazing how many people will cross this boundary to seek their personal sexual satisfaction. A man/woman can will peruse sexual benefits without any form of commitment most especially when they have no sense of purpose or self control. Be mindful of who you call “friend”. If you have ever been in a “Friends With Benefits Situation” you will know that it doesn’t take long before one of you starts to feel feelings beyond the purpose of the friendship. If you are the commitment type then you know this is not the best situation for you, in fact it’s just not good for anyone really…

Sex is more powerful than your personal power to suppress or be in denial. It is a tool which when used by the immature, naive or controlling people can cause irreparable damage to what could have been a functional, healthy and mutually elevating friendship. You should know that once you cross the line of friendship and have a sexual encounter with someone you like just “hanging” around with you are no longer “Friends” you are sexual partners… And yes it’s true once you give up that part of yourself to them you’re either going to want walk into love or walk out of total friendship with that individual. If both parties are functioning of sexual excitement someone’s going to get hurt.

There is no middle ground after self compromise & mutual compromise. Some people have “Friends with Sexual Benefits” as their standard of friendship. Real Friendship ascribes a sense of purpose and mutual growth between individuals but sexual encounters serve as an unnecessary bridge to emotional confusion. #RealTalk in that situation there are ropes involved! You can’t be sleeping with someone you call friend unless you’re married to them (ITS JUST SMART). Immature friends who are interested in using and abusing you for sex will work so hard to please your body but by now should know that they take the Love of the innocent quite frequently. When will your “Self Harm” stop?

The man who befriends women for sexual favours is not a friend but can be labelled as a sexual predator…He grooms vulnerable women and even men into a false sense of security and openness with the view that he can further take advantage of whatever essence those men/women have. Some women feel a strong loss of self esteem when they encounter certain guys because the agenda is not mutually favoured. The woman who befriends men/women for sexual reasons is also a sexual predator.. She is the woman with the sweetest lips full of “Lust” subtle “Perversion” and when she sees your inner tears/fears she promises that sex will fix your bleeding and she makes you taste what will never fit in a Purpose filled friendship. These kind of men and women cannot function without a sexual fix. Their personal failure to admit this to you from the beginning is what should prevent you from giving in to their suggestions. If you are a man or a woman practicing this kind of behaviour either change or look for the woman/woman who will put up with that👹. For so long you have taken advantage of the vulnerable then you will continue to hear me advise them against “Loving” You. I speak passionately on their behalf and aye! Enough is enough. If all else fails try being a genuine friend and this kind of behaviour is less likely to happen.

When sex is involved without “Commitment”💍 that is a compromise any purposeful friendship cannot afford…No matter how much we may want to make things work for us in these foundation less & broken situations. It may be smart to break away from any friendship that promotes sexual ties without “Commitment”💍.

This advice will only work for you if you decide to do away with the with sexual benefits. Oh and by the way…

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All things said with Love and Respect
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For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
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Relationship Short Notes : – Women & Compromise

Are you sure that the guy you’re with Loves you? Or did you fall for the Magician? A man who presents love in a magikal way but can’t keep up the illusion when you’re having an argument or dispute over his last telephone conversation with a girl who makes you feel insecure just by the way she looks at you. He’s fine with it and you consistently play along with the tricks because of the fact that he touches you in places preserved for a king worthy of that hormone. You give in every time he leans in and left up to you would even make up excuses for him to cover up the flaws in his trickery. It’s amazing how a woman can be tricked into accepting the abuse as a form of love. What you should do is maybe ask her where the compromise began.

What did her Dad say when she was 3 years old, 6 years old, or even 8? Was he ever there for her prior to her hormones exploding into romance and fantasy? If she has compromised herself again and again he probably wasn’t there and in a bid to stay irresponsible he stayed away during her teenage fluctuations of Pride, Anger and Rebellion or in some deeply unfortunate cases he was taken away by death. He wasn’t and in some cases couldn’t be there to disciple her passions into a young woman ready to receive love but more by his absence or absent mindedness made her ready to be manipulated into a false sense of physical attraction and emotional security. For so long she has sought to impress the wrong men. She abandoned all her moral values and mocks those who even try to keep themselves but deep down we all know she craves to be elevated by love and not Lust. She can only act out of Lust because that’s what she knows but what if she received Love for longer, would she see through the tricks of magicians before they even came to her stage? Perhaps…

If you are the woman described in this piece perhaps it’s time to look for help and deal with your compromise the right way..

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All things said with Love and Respect
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For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
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@MrVitoSpeaks

Relationship Short Notes :- Women and Respect

If you have been alive for the last 30 years you will have undoubtedly witnessed the rise of women to significance from what may have seemed like the obscurity of homeland(HouseWife) security. A lot of women have started to realise and embrace their acceptance in the world of Corporate work with tenacity, drive and ambition. The truth is right now they are a force to be reckoned with. It is however with regret that I inform you that some women have let the power they have experienced get to their head. They have experienced the exhilarating power of making decisions that affect the lives of many but many have lost the sense or ability to receive Love. Some have become so powerful they no longer consider Love a driving force in their conversation or conduct.. It really is more about the “Respect” they get for being tenacious, outspoken and witty. Unfortunately after tasting the elixir originally ordained for mankind as a species they have gone on to overtake and in some cases overpower the men in their own homes. Something happened a shift, a switch if you may… Women have begun demanding Respect more than they do Love.

Although these two sound the same. It seems most powerful women are now more comfortable being feared than they are loved..
They want you to fear whats in their pocket and respect their Authority to decide your fate and do not feel a way when challenged about this or their motives. However all in all we should know that a smart woman in any situation should demand love and appreciation rather than respect and intimidation. After all in the pivotal story of Adam and Eve..

Eve was tricked into thinking that the Knowledge she wanted would make her as wise as the God she feared/respected.. Its ironic that She was taken advantage of, promised power by something that itself that had been stripped of its own power and in that state of craving the role of goddess she still wished to remain the “Bone of A Mans Bone and the Flesh of Her Flesh”. Maybe that’s just the problem she has given up the role of Helpmeet and Queen to be a Goddess of a Fallen being.

The truth is Woman the more you achieve without being a helpmeet to anyone the more likely you will become like the being who sold you desire to be equal in the first place. You will remain hungry for power that does not satisfy your ultimate crave for Love and Compassion. It is highly possible that women are being tricked into campaigning for unequal rights…👀

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All things said with Love and Respect
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Relationship Short Notes :- Sex and The Man

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The truth is some of us need to be smarter with where our impulses lead us. The Lower half of your body is a treasure you have to take care of with a discerning mind. Your sexual expression is a gift that you can preserve for your good until marriage and in marriage. It can also be used for the downfall of yourself and the person you supposedly care about. Find me a man who is steering away from sleeping with multiple women and searching for a wife and I will show you a man worthy of honour and respect. Why would a boy be considered a man when cannot not put childish things away? Surely at some point EVERYMAN has to put his sexual health first and his heart right by seeking some help to redefine himself because up until then multiple partners have fragmented his soul into a black hole of uncertainty and indecision.

Your lower half is a treasure you must protect not with a condom but with your mind. For once in your life consider how sleeping around affects your bigger picture. If sleeping around doesn’t distort or ruin your bigger picture then maybe you need to expand your canvas…

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All things said with Love and Respect
Please do subscribe and leave your comments below.

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
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