Relationship Short Notes :- Women and Respect

If you have been alive for the last 30 years you will have undoubtedly witnessed the rise of women to significance from what may have seemed like the obscurity of homeland(HouseWife) security. A lot of women have started to realise and embrace their acceptance in the world of Corporate work with tenacity, drive and ambition. The truth is right now they are a force to be reckoned with. It is however with regret that I inform you that some women have let the power they have experienced get to their head. They have experienced the exhilarating power of making decisions that affect the lives of many but many have lost the sense or ability to receive Love. Some have become so powerful they no longer consider Love a driving force in their conversation or conduct.. It really is more about the “Respect” they get for being tenacious, outspoken and witty. Unfortunately after tasting the elixir originally ordained for mankind as a species they have gone on to overtake and in some cases overpower the men in their own homes. Something happened a shift, a switch if you may… Women have begun demanding Respect more than they do Love.

Although these two sound the same. It seems most powerful women are now more comfortable being feared than they are loved..
They want you to fear whats in their pocket and respect their Authority to decide your fate and do not feel a way when challenged about this or their motives. However all in all we should know that a smart woman in any situation should demand love and appreciation rather than respect and intimidation. After all in the pivotal story of Adam and Eve..

Eve was tricked into thinking that the Knowledge she wanted would make her as wise as the God she feared/respected.. Its ironic that She was taken advantage of, promised power by something that itself that had been stripped of its own power and in that state of craving the role of goddess she still wished to remain the “Bone of A Mans Bone and the Flesh of Her Flesh”. Maybe that’s just the problem she has given up the role of Helpmeet and Queen to be a Goddess of a Fallen being.

The truth is Woman the more you achieve without being a helpmeet to anyone the more likely you will become like the being who sold you desire to be equal in the first place. You will remain hungry for power that does not satisfy your ultimate crave for Love and Compassion. It is highly possible that women are being tricked into campaigning for unequal rights…👀

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All things said with Love and Respect
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Bad Friends and Bad Vibes

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When you look at the world we live in and the hard times we encountered in our childhood you will find that with brokenness of the heart comes a strong desire to arise in and wield power. This kind of power we want is for a strong sense of control and self esteem.. What happens when a broken person seeks to wield unhealthy forms of power on you..
Today I want to speak to those of us who keep friends who are manipulators..

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at ANOTHER’S EXPENSE, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious and deceptive. Social influence is not necessarily negative.

When your friends become your manipulators there is a problem bigger than you on it’s way. A real friend will tell you.. “Watch out for that problem… This is for your benefit” a manipulator will keep their mouth shut and hope you don’t make it.. But how do we know we are being manipulated..?
Maybe the key is to unlock the conversation on what characteristic makes us vulnerable to being manipulated.

Do you suffer from the following?
1) The “disease to please” : Are you always looking for the perfect way to please others to the extent that you run yourself into the ground and destroy yourself and other good people in the process…? You may be stuck in an emotional cycle that is ruining you and making you susceptible to manipulation. In fact you are great candidate for manipulation.

2) Do you suffer from an Addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others?
Do you consider yourself at the bottom and always trying to get to the top by beating your friends? Well it is likely you can be a victim of manipulation by those you place first on the stage of your life..it’s highly likely you will choose pretentious people over genuine ones..
You have to grow smart enough to know that true elevation does not happen through addiction to anything..in fact depression is usually the result. It’s time to turn a new leaf and find friends who want to see you progress..

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3) Do you suffer from, Emotophobia (fear of negative emotion; i.e. a fear of expressing anger, frustration or disapproval) Yep you too could be the victim of manipulation from dangerous friends. There is this general consensus that you never get angry about anything but you and I both know that is a lie.. You do get angry but you bottle it up and unleash that anger on the unsuspecting. You may very well become the manipulator if you are not careful..learn to express exactly how you feel and even as you pour out be mindful of everything you’re pouring.

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4) Do you lack of assertiveness and ability to say no?
Again you too are vulnerable to experience manipulation. As my mentor once said you “people” in this case the manipulators will use you and use you and use until you can’t be used anymore. You know they are dangerous because they get real mad when you can’t help them anymore. First it’s their disappointment then the manipulation intensifies…

5) Do you feel you have a blurry sense of identity (with soft personal boundaries)?
Well you will inevitably be manipulated..
“never stop doing good deeds but always remember that even goodness has self control” let every good deed be a decision not an under handed coercion by someone who wants what you are…

If you already know your manipulators and think that they are up to no good it’s time to walk free of their mental remote controls.. Learn to say no and ask questions when you don’t understand them. Don’t be a slave but be conscious of your service to them.. Endeavour to stay sober and its likely you will catch manipulators out but if you fall for their charms and wits you may very well end up weeping..

All that being said

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All things said with Love and Respect
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For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
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Womanhood Notes: Essential Qualities Part 2

Self Control

Another quality that powerful women in any situation and time of life should have is self control. In my last piece on this subject I spoke about patience. The importance of “self control” is no less important. As an influential woman please understand that, power is destructive in a woman who has no self control. A lot of women have become what they had not planned because of a lack of self control or in some cases too much of it. Some influential women justify their singleness and independence while in the 40s however simultaneously they wish they had a husband and children to share the material success they now have. I worry a lot for influential women who today aspire only for material success in the early days of their lives because they have forgotten the importance of the other roles that they can do so well.

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We also have young women in their Teens and 20s upwards giving away their bodies or images of them, their souls or fragments of them and self respect to undeveloped men with false self esteem. In absence of self control a woman is slave to the desires of her body. Feeding feelings like Sex(Body Touch), Shopping(Acquiring possessions), Exhibitionism(Peoples adoration). All of which are not wrong when they happen in the right time and circumstance but when they become the source of a woman’s worth trouble is not far away.

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On the Subject of relationships
Some women allow their personality to be raided by strange men, strange women, wrong bosses and even wrong industries. Having allowed their lusts for power to be More important than what they know to be morally right they give away the substance of truth for 15minutes fame, 15minutes of Sex, and Even 15 years of Marriage & Motherhood.

Statistically it has been proven that if a man can sleep with you on the first date, it’s highly likely that relationship is going to end before it even begins, because a real man prefers a woman with self control. Remember all good men are looking for a woman who can manage her urges and dreams to acquire what will give long lasting satisfaction (Being a Virtuous Wife, and An honourable Mother). Never for a second assume that a lapse in moral truth does not have its long term consequences..

Influential women must understand that self control can be balanced out. On the other hand some women are so controlled that they cannot show or express love to their husband but lacked self control when they were about the town or visiting ibiza or Magaluf. Some women cannot be cheerful because they believe expressions of joy must always be kept under wraps.

In conclusion Self control is a tool to filter out the unwanted things from your path in life but it should not become a hindrance to finding and experiencing the right kind of love. Discern and measure your ways and standards before they are so extreme only you can live within the walls you have created.

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All things said with Love and Respect
Please do subscribe and leave your comments below.

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks