Be Unique

For the longest time I have had friends and my family encouraging me to do Video Blogging and I didn’t post about my previous videos but I think it’s only right I start doing that now in hopes of cours that what I’m doing will empower someone to step out of their shell. We don’t all need to be famous to be effective but we need to speak out about things that matter to us and strive as much as depends on us to make a difference. In my eyes the people who watch the videos are worth my time, my effort and they will do what needs to be done.

Check out the video and subscribe good people.

 

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Stop Pretending and Get Help

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You know I don’t know how long people can ignore things that need to be talked about but I for one would prefer to discuss it before it becomes the storm I will be swept away by. So many of us really could be better people by now by, dealing with the wounds of the soul with care, dignity and urgency. When you are injured and maybe even see a hint of blood you think to yourself “I need to go to the A & E to make sure nothings broken.” If only we behaved in the same way when it comes to our emotional injuries, mental injuries we would heal quickly and be even more satisfied as people. When will make it a point tl ensure that nothing inside is broken?

Unfortunately most of us take out eyes off the ball of resolving internal conflicts and traumas until of course they start showing up in the things we do on a daily basis. Women who refuse to acknowledge the importance of men because even their fathers we absent or lacked presence in the home. Men who can’t bring themselves to the alter to marry out of concern that they too will bail out on an actual family because Dad did the same. Most people do nothing until it begins to tear apart their loved ones and literally creates casualties out of well meaning relationships and well placed opportunities.

Yes ladies and gentlemen please understand that when what lies beneath remains lies beneath.
We are slowly poisoning the source of our joys, strengths, abilities, connections and soon it will make itself known in some way shape or form.

While you fail, neglect, refuse, and reject to address your issues with some true conversation and therapy you are creating something in you you will either be ashamed of or will literally troll your successes.

Folks who are in denial are the hardest to deal with. They deny that something is bubbling over into another thing. They create lethal friendship connections, faulty relationships with the opposite sex and are just never available enough for actual transformation. They are the people who respond last minute to the storm warnings. They are the ones who devastate others way more and in so doing their most decisive tool is pretending they are actually OK when everything about them will KO the next vulnerable person around them in some way shape or form.
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Please stop pretending and get the help you need PRONTO!.
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Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

Man Thoughts: The Integrity of My People

“My integrity will take me a long way.
But our integrity will lift us out of the Miry Clay of Corruption.”- Martin Vito

If you are someone who walks in integrity, I urge you persist on that path. There is plenty of light in that kind of tunnel. The first light is you and the second is the people that you choose to walk, talk and do business with. Diaspora Africans have a challenge on their hands when it comes to believing in and supporting one another. Due to reasons owing to the economic climate we are forced to constantly surf over the depth of our personal and collective insecurities when it comes to matters of trust. We fear back stabbers, gold diggers, oppportunists, frienemies and adulterers in various forms. Sometimes it seems we would rather fear them or become them. In reality we have to confront them.

We cannot even speak long enough about our social ills before someone starts showing off about their personal achievements and attainments that only conclude on the note of personal glory. In that personal story no one else is included, no flag can be raised and no true honour can be awarded because our efforts are for selfish gain and not collective establishment of a decent vantage point. Our brand of teamwork is constantly laced with selfish ambition. The corruptions of the few become the corruptions of the many when we say nothing.

Our Family structures are riddled with secrets of things no one ever talks about. When will we ask ourselves the deeper questions about where we came from and whats resident in our DNA? Is my selfish ambition, emotional dysfunction, sexual addiction, impenetrable pride, pornographic desire a condition imposed on me by the nation I am in or a descendant of my “unknown” ancestors? If it is a combination of the two then I must weed out what is in me and spread the message of that clearance.

At some stage someone will have to ask the pertinent question about personal Family History before they ask us about National History. Secondary to that question should be where does my Family sit in connection to the history of my nation of origin.

The answers to these very two questions will start an avalanche of drive and courage to correct the wrongs passed on through ignorance and write the story that best reflects a heart sobered by deep discovery.

©Martin Vito 2014
Send Questions and Email Thoughts To
mrvitouk@gmail.com
Tweet Me @MrVitoSpeaks

Fathers/Mothers Family

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You know there’s a saying that goes
“Train Up a child in the way he/she should go and when he goes up he will not depart from it”

This meaning when a child is given adequate attention in his formative years and is instructed and taught in a balanced manner by both his father and his mother, the child’s character, aspiration, confidence and motivations will be balanced. The child’s ways of thinking will be sober and wise, he/she will seek the greater good of others whilst simultaneously maintaining a sense of purpose and direction. The Father gives the sperm and the Mother provides and egg and thus a consistent mutual combination of the two is required to maintain the child’s internal balance. The more we separate these concepts and allow the circumstances of nature to dictate the family breakdown the worse our perception of family will be. Granted a child may gravitate towards one parent more than the other based on likes and disciplinary actions taken but Love and Respect must be received from both parents.
In our generations today there is a growing epidemic that has been slowly destroying our children and their ability to understand the world from the right position.

You see in the absence of one parent there are bound to be things that the other parent will not be able to contribute accurately to the child’s life. This in no way negates the lone parents contribution but it creates a ticking time bomb of social dysfunction in the child unless someone intervenes. We all deserve to have both parents contribute their essence into our lives beyond the genetics. We need to be filled with truth and a strong sense of self and healthy practice for growth and development.

Some of you may or may not know this..but

“A million UK children are growing up without a father in their lives, says a new report on family breakdown.
The Centre for Social Justice report says lone parent families are increasing by more than 20,000 a year, and will top two million by the next general election.”

Unfortunately those who know this fact are only able to do so much but the problem of absent men is a growing one. Men are now more known to do the runner after impregnating the woman they liked in a moment of lust, broken relationship, poor self management, depression, poverty, unhappiness. This is likely because they witnessed an imbalance in their own upbringing somewhere. All men are born with the capacity to be naughty but its likely there were either learnt behaviours or absence of a parent or parents in the home that sped up the problem. A child is born with the capacity to look up at his/her father or mother for the truth about life. When a parent is absent something else or someone else will step in to influence the child to be a certain way. For most it’s usually ENVIRONMENT that becomes the father/mother, PEERS, MUSIC, ENTERTAINMENT, or SELF. Unfortunately all of this in the wrong doses create a very selfish individual with no other care but to satisfy selfish undisciplined desires.

“The absence of fathers is linked to higher rates of teenage crime, pregnancy and disadvantage, the report says, warning that the UK is experiencing a “tsunami” of family breakdown.”

The truth is that although society may cause us to always separate the contributions of fathers and mothers from our lives we should remain conscious that both are required to create a balanced diet of truth, purpose, growth, relationships and legacy. We should now hope and plan that when it is our turn to be in the teacher and the instructors seat we will not create an imbalance in our future generations through absence and neglect.

“CSJ director Christian Guy says: “For children growing up in some of the poorest parts of the country, men are rarely encountered in the home or in the classroom. This is an ignored form of deprivation that can have profoundly damaging consequences on social and mental development.”

That being said today may be the day you ask your father the deeper questions about his own life. You may learn something deeper about the way you are and why you are. If you are not able to do this for a reason beyond your control then ask those who know him and whom you can trust.
These perspectives may teach you the necessary things to look our for in your own attempts to be the best you can be.

All things said with Love and Respect
Please do subscribe and leave your comments below.

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks

Relationship Notes:- Visual Relationship DeTox 4 Women

THE VISUAL DETOX

If every good woman I know wants to be a wife in charge of her household then I prefer to be honest and frank. I want to see all the beautiful women I know loved and cherished. -@MrVitoSpeaks

In all fairness, what you are preparing for when you talk about being a wife is not just a role you watch on TV, its a defining role that isn’t for actors. Its for brave women ready to step up to the plate. There is no use in idealising being a wife and not doing the prep to connect to the Right man. A good man can make the difference between heaven & hell or particularly a woman happy or a woman scorned! Although my advice to clear up your mind vision may sound extreme, I’m going to require you to change your eyes, if not your glasses. (Brace Yourselves)

DeTox

Throw out or box or Delete:
a) DVDs that strongly influence your ideas on love. Especially, sexually driven films/dramas. (Is the Love you see there, the love you have had in real life?)

b) Tabloid Magazines about Celebrity Love, Love Novels that contain graphic depictions of sexual activity and any kind of promiscuity. (I’m Single Handedly ruining your Lifestyle here)

c) Photos of Half Naked sexualized men on your laptop and phones. i.e Airbrushed “Perfect Men”

d) Get rid of the Ex boyfriends in every single way you can imagine, delete phone numbers, BBMs, WhatsApps, Pictures, Naked Pictures. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Certain memories keep giving you strength to return to your vomit.

I’m not saying you should abandon entertainment altogether, but I’m saying move from addiction to responsible management. This involves breaking away and doing without it for as long as you can without relapsing-@MrVitoSpeaks

I say this in respect to the female heart. These things are known to poison your genuine and right ideas of Love. You need to reset your mind for fruitful love and that will not happen whilst watching “Scandal”, “Real Housewives of Anywhere” or “Love and Hip Hop” or “Porn”.

What you think is reality is really someone’s entertaining edited glossed version of situations and some of them staged conveniently for “Drama” and “Arousal”. -@MrVitoSpeaks

When you think your life is filmed in HD you stop actually interacting and live like what you fantasise. Fascinated by appearance but never stopping to investigate what you think “IDEAL” is in reality.

The truth is you need to engage in some habit changing wholesome conversations, reading, socialising with Genuine People & Couples. To be a wife is a royal thing. You don’t become royalty by watching people entertain you.

You become royalty by pursuing your purpose and doing it passionately. -@MrVitoSpeaks

By working with the man you love towards a greater goal than your “Exhaulted Ego” “Exhaulted Beauty” and “Awards”. Being a wife isn’t about entertainment but it is full of entertaining moments.

That charm you pull off so well on social networking sometimes only works on the internet. It may get you into a mans bed but after that you wont be allowed into his head. -@MrVitoSpeaks

That being said I may sound like a man on a mission to transform you or at least spark a thought. All I ask is that you think about this and manage your intake of addictive media. A clear mind is the first sign post to locating the Love that you need to be the best version of you.

It was an ordinary weekday morning when Caroline first noticed how much pornography was taking over her life. With 15 minutes to go before she was due to leave for a job interview, she opened up her laptop to print off an extra copy of her CV and there, onscreen, was a grab she’d saved from a porn site.

“I remember the feeling of being sucked in, really wanting that two-minute fix, that numbness I got when I used porn,” says Caroline. “I was stressed out, and I risked being late for my interview, but I pressed play anyway and fast-forwarded it to the bit I wanted. It took two minutes.” But the relief was to be short-lived. “Afterwards I just hated myself for giving in and getting off on images that treated women like pieces of meat. But I kept going back.” -Guardian Article

If you would like to know what to do from this point check out what my wife has to say.

@LolasWord

http://lolasword.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/rome-wasnt-built-in-a-day-neither-is-a-wife/

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
Fybconnection@googlemail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks