Head and Heart 

When people say stuff like “I really want to find the person to have and to hold for the rest of my life but on the inside they are saying, these hoes aint loyal.” I cannot blame them, their desires are mixing with the genuine fears of a generation that is so well sex trained that it is almost completely Love broke. They are looking for and expecting people who are not in a position to be loyal to become their most trusted Lover. #FIXYOURLIFE #HowSway!?

How Sway

You my friend may be suffering from a grand delusion that will keep you running around in circles. Here you are saying you want a Virtuous woman but your secret relationship with porn and hoes clouds your judgement about the kind of things you should really be asking of a truly virtuous woman.

You know there are guys who may admit they want respect and love but when they are in a position to gain exactly that they instead of walking the safe route of maturity they start trying to figure out how they can take advantage of the availability of a virtuous woman.

They ask and seek for sexual gratification and in so doing they lose sight of what they originally approached her for if they had any noble intentions to begin with. You went to a virtuous woman demanding she behave like the the hoes that are not loyal!!? Are you alright? Why do you wish to compromise her virtue with your 50 shades of grey that lead to her loosing her confidence trying to keep up with you.

Shocked Face

What about the girls who constantly want attention via social media, go to “church” but be actively SEXTING guys in a bid to appease their own lusts and desire for attention but would gladly quote a religious text in their online bio’s or worse its the same girl that will retweet a picture/video, meme of someone in a sexually compromising position pretty much polluting even the most innocent eye? The same girl then complains/retweets/rants about the shortage of good men!!! #SHUTUP. If its real virtue you have then you should stop with the siren behaviour, be yourself and conduct yourself in the way you wouldnt mind your Father finding you.

 

I dare you to stop getting on your knees for the wrong reasons and for the wrong people. At this rate permit me to make you are aware that there are two types of kneeling that a person can to do on a frequent basis, one leads to blessings and elevation and the other leads to humiliation and if you are even more unlucky it will be on social media.

 

Stop asking for good things when you don’t intend to be good enough to maintain and treasure them especially people. – @MrVitoSpeaks

To be fair there is a shortage of actual good men for you to ruin because these men don’t think with their penis, they think with their rational head and purposeful heart. Are these men in denial of their sexual urges? Absolutely not! In fact they are so in touch that a virtuous woman commits to life with him she will feel the love during the first night and beyond it (Okay may be not the first night 🙂 ).

As much as I wish that this type of sexual seduction from seemingly genuine people could stop I doubt it will but  I would like to make a call to all the ‘Virtuous Women and Faithful Men’ out there that its time to understand that you could actually be with someone you can love and cherish but if youre out here living in the half way house where you make genuine requests to be with virtue but are always obsessed over compromised people you are delaying and prolonging in many ways your eligibility to the mature men and women because of cheap but very costly gimics.

Imagine so many pure intentioned people mixing their Visions and Purposes with lust instead of love, with humiliation instead of humility, with Thots insteads Good Thoughts, with Subservience instead of healthy Submission.

Yes! you are are right this is indeed the world we live in but there is no where, where it is written in stone that you must continue to live like this to find what/who you are truly asking for.

Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

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Detours and Setbacks

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I particularly like this thought so much I had to tweet it. As a man I believe in integrity and sticking to your guns when it comes to the things you believe in especially if the things you believe in are beneficial not just to yourself but others. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you but to be honest it has to me.

I have on many occasions taken detours from clear Vision to may be help a friend, save a girlfriend, live another mans dream, sacrificed my usefulness to useless endeavours and to be straight with you, I ended up paying untold costs in time, money, relationships and other things. All because I didn’t stick to my Vision.

What if I had soldiered through or away from the distractions? I perhaps wouldn’t have spent as much time following after such things.

The friend I was distracted by is now a frienemy! The girlfriend I tried to save went into the arms of another man, my energies used turned into regrets instead of actual usefulness to who I have become today. There are those of you who will defend your detours but its because you can justify the fun but you cant justify its role in your purpose. What you think is growth and being more accommodating is actually a slow form of bitterness that has lead to you trusting people less, giving up on genuine people, hurting others because the situation ships you detoured for disappointed you and you’re out here still looking for a Breakthrough because you took a break when you should have just walked through.

We at all times should take responsibility for our actions and also afford blame and appropriate crimes to the right perpetrators. This includes self

When you do this you will have a better sense of peace and focus. I am in no way suggesting you blame everyone else and leave yourself out but I am suggesting that as you refocus understand now more than ever that your detours can cost you dearly so when a situation or relationship arises that requires your time, resource, commitment, availability, Love, money and connections ask yourself will this be a necessary step or a costly detour?

#THINKABOUTIT

Meanwhile since refocusing I feel my sense of purpose is less distracted and the greatness can be freely extracted I trust that the same will happen for you as you consider your detours and how you will deal with them the next time they arise.

#BackToVision #BackToBusiness

Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

4 Types Of Fools You Keep Dating

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Ladies Ladies Ladies! This one’s for  you and all the good guys in this world, I need to ask you this pressing question. Who the hec are you dating, mating and giving in to your temptations with?  It’s a pressing thing for me right now to dare to ask who exactly you are letting into your hearts,  minds and bodies. Not one of you should be dating, mating, engaging or even marrying a fool unless you of course are a fool all on your own.

For clarities sake let me show you 4 types of fools you’re leaving yourself open to and how its affecting your value  and potential future with a good man.

1) The first fool is the person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person.

You know what I understand that girls like guys who don’t always take themselves seriously you know the comedic types but some ladies cant tell the difference between humor and immaturity because it all seems funny until of course you need this guy to be  a solid rock of some kind. Every man should strive to possess a quality like humor that can bring joy but I think when the joy becomes void of any meaningful progression then its questionable. This type of fool shouldn’t even be given a second date let alone access to your pound cake. Unfortunately he does because you are sort of struggling with accepting that you are indeed worth more than this  so silly is acceptable until it hurts the one accommodating it.

2) The second fool is someone capable of doing a skilful act performed just for your entertainment or amusement.

This kind of fool mesmerises you with his abilities, sort of peacocking his strengths like being devoted to his faith but when it comes to his day to day living he is incapable of holding a decent conversation that doesn’t hinge on a bible verse, I’m not talking about the man who backs his faith with action. Im talking about the man who knows more Bible Verses than you but wont put his life together. BesidedNo matter how much he knows it never brings about a conviction about your own personal change. He is only in your life because of what he can do but not because of who he can be.  Men like this seldom change their focus to build in themselves character to back their deepest convictions let alone act on them. Instead they continually seek to keep your attention with tricks like monkeys do just to get the treat of spending time with you,  be it on the phone, in church,  which will only cause you to yield to calculated advances not just of a sexual nature but even marriage and suddenly you’re tied down because this man was available and so were you.
His character deficiencies mean you will only progress to the degree of his personal development which is at level 0 last time you checked but you accept because well he is skilled Right?

3) The third fool is the guy you like and find attractive because it always feels like youre both trying to Cunningly deceive or outwit each other in everything.

Yes this man makes you strip down to your bare essentials in what many of your friends see as a humiliating relation that has no ship  just sex and wits.  Nobody can get you out of this except yourself! Even I wont tell you to break up with him because this is as much about your foolish self as it is about the fool youre choosing to let back in just for the thrill of the fake love, the sexting, the rendezvous and the feeling that where you are is heaven meanwhile its a card board box in a brothel that needs to be folded up and burned in hell. So you keep fooling yourself with that mirage and race towards stds, pregnancies & more manipulation.

4) This last fool is harder to spot but the truth is he is liable to fail; and like a man without proper guidance in life he is defective.

This fool will promise you the world with him as King, ideals with no well thought action plans,  flukes with no evidence of training,  illusions that make even the most skeptic girl give him many chances to prove himself. The kind of guy whom when you ask about the future is even skeptical an about the next day. Hes always trying something new but never has something more than that to do. His programmed to get money but wont spend a dime on you but because you think you see the truth you have made him king even over what is yours but he will never make you queen over anything in his power.
The same man will want all of you but give you none of himself. He knows your fears but your own voice never makes a difference to his ear.  He cant be heard speaking the truth in love but he always shouting the lie in broad day light. The sort of fool i would encourage you to avoid dating because he could cost you your destiny and if left to continue could cost you your life.

Ladies Please Don’t Let these Fools In.
Save it all for a man who will make it easy for you to approach his throne gracefully with your dreams, future  and will see to it that you’re set on a path to making a lasting legacy happen.

Have a good day.

@MrVitoSpeaks

Are you ignoring the Learning signs?

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Its there its obvious,  the lesson you are supposed to learn but you are way too busy ignorong the signs because you don’t think they are divine enough. Well longer you ignore the obvious the closer embarrassment and humiliation get.

When the writings on the wall is the time youre supposed to be least resistant to the truth.  Ironically thats when most girls cant say the relationship is not going the way it needs to. That’s when the nice guy sticks his hands up in love while his girlfriend meets another man.

Power to learn and act is always available but for as long as we allow willful blindness to feed our naivity the pain will not come to an end and neither will the right course of action overcome our fears.

Some people are taking too long to learn the lesson and thus the lesson that was supposed to last a season becomes a thorn in their side that never lets them rest.

If you value your peace and sanity you will be quick to learn, wise to act and peaceful in the end. Theres always a mlre difficult way. I want to encourage you to take the road less traveled.

Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

Are you a true Friend or Nah?

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Did you know in life you cant force friendships? You cant keep rolling in friend circles that only spread rumor and bad vibes about you but cant speak to you in honesty and love. You cant keep following people who dont have a lifting power about them. Im not saying that your friends should be your fans but they must certainly must have your back and prepare to risk everything to ensure you become amazing even with out them.

Loyalty and progress go hand in hand but guess what so does loyalty and stagnation. Sometimes in being loyal to twisted and ill evidenced values you strangle what’s actually possible for your own life.

Your friends and ambitions really do have to be in the same place and you have to think and lool closely will this connection bring the fire of determination or the fire of wrath.

In the first fire you will find that you and your friends are aiming for a similar cause therefore like gym buddies you have someone to help you lift the weight off you when you need them to during training.  The other fire is the same passion but you end up being bitter about yourself and doing less with what has been given to you. In fact that friendship leaves a bitter taste in your mouth as you constantly question the reason for the friendship if it does nothing but bring misery you  cannot speak up about because of the Fear of Losing your friends loyalty.

You may not immediately see what i mean by wrath but trust me when I say that your true friends with the right mind state will bring out the best in you and of course the wrong friends will bring out the wrath in you.

A true friend may wound you to stop you going on a path of self destruction and risk even their reputation to save you from your hand made hell so i want to advise you not take offence but let the good friend in and see the bad friend out.

Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

Wheres the wisdom in that?!

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Today dont get caught slipping in the trap of “I have no good reason for doing this except that I feel like doing it”. 

Many a good people have fallen by the wayside of life because they spent time doing something because they felt like it and not because it was necessary for where they were going and neither was it good for who they were.

So instesd of leading to some kind of fulfilment it led to pain and unnecessary grief. This in fact could be an on going failed relationship with a person who not only doesn’t know how to relate but further  more cannot be bothered  to relate with you. It could be a job in something you hate but stick to because it pays the bills, absolutely nothing wrong with that until you factor in that the absence of wisdom means you’re drillimg yourself into the groumd for something you will regret later. However you just went with your feeling and now your feelings are entangled in an unforseen mess that is difficult to clean up. Better to decide early on that you will work on, in and do something around what you love and you will never be void of wisdom to excel in. You will find something new to accompany your already growing love.

Be fair and honorable with yourself  and perhaps intentionally discipline yourself to refuse to pay,  loan or even invest in situations you dont have actual Wisdom for.

I encourage that you face less of your distractions and face more of your destiny. Intentional steps will surely lead the right outcome so long as distractions sre ignored. The next time you are about to do or continue something ask yourself the pertinent question “where is the Wisdom in that?”
Thought processes to move mental mountains with

Have a good day

@MrVitoSpeaks

Why Did You Stop?

This post is for all the talented people who have stopped doing what needs to be done because of the fickle feelings of people who never wished them well in the first place. We all have to learn to push past the barrier of discouragement created by the “dislikes and discomforts” of people around you. There should be a resilience in your step to keep walking in the right direction most especially when there are few who will applaud you for your efforts. Are you working for a well done from your haters or a well done for doing your purpose. People are not obligated to applaud us when we do well or do right. Neither are people inclined to feel nice about what we do right. Nope remember no one is obligated to do anything. When you do receive encouragement though make sure you take it on board because you never know when you will receive it again.

Don’t Give Up!

When people stop believing in the things you want to achieve that is not the time to stop.

The time to stop is when you have no breathe in you to give anything more.

Until then keep trying and keep going there is someone out there who needs to hear what you have to say and engage with it. Make new connections and fulfil that purpose. You may lose supporters but don’t give in or give up on yourself. Dust yourself off and pick up where you left of. Sometimes you will need to change your strategies and make it happen differently to how you expected. There is still more work to do.

Man Thoughts: The Integrity of My People

“My integrity will take me a long way.
But our integrity will lift us out of the Miry Clay of Corruption.”- Martin Vito

If you are someone who walks in integrity, I urge you persist on that path. There is plenty of light in that kind of tunnel. The first light is you and the second is the people that you choose to walk, talk and do business with. Diaspora Africans have a challenge on their hands when it comes to believing in and supporting one another. Due to reasons owing to the economic climate we are forced to constantly surf over the depth of our personal and collective insecurities when it comes to matters of trust. We fear back stabbers, gold diggers, oppportunists, frienemies and adulterers in various forms. Sometimes it seems we would rather fear them or become them. In reality we have to confront them.

We cannot even speak long enough about our social ills before someone starts showing off about their personal achievements and attainments that only conclude on the note of personal glory. In that personal story no one else is included, no flag can be raised and no true honour can be awarded because our efforts are for selfish gain and not collective establishment of a decent vantage point. Our brand of teamwork is constantly laced with selfish ambition. The corruptions of the few become the corruptions of the many when we say nothing.

Our Family structures are riddled with secrets of things no one ever talks about. When will we ask ourselves the deeper questions about where we came from and whats resident in our DNA? Is my selfish ambition, emotional dysfunction, sexual addiction, impenetrable pride, pornographic desire a condition imposed on me by the nation I am in or a descendant of my “unknown” ancestors? If it is a combination of the two then I must weed out what is in me and spread the message of that clearance.

At some stage someone will have to ask the pertinent question about personal Family History before they ask us about National History. Secondary to that question should be where does my Family sit in connection to the history of my nation of origin.

The answers to these very two questions will start an avalanche of drive and courage to correct the wrongs passed on through ignorance and write the story that best reflects a heart sobered by deep discovery.

©Martin Vito 2014
Send Questions and Email Thoughts To
mrvitouk@gmail.com
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Leadership Notes: The Most Noise Doesnt Equal The Most Change

It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.

Edmund Burke

When I came across this quote it struck a chord within me that I thought I should share.

Sometimes people make noise without actually mobilising their convictions and because they are gifted they lead people into thinking theres a movement meanwhile they are only making noise(Creating a Distraction from their own woes). The illusion of noise(Creating a Distraction) is more serious than people think. It is so strong it distracts the focus from those who are actually striving to cause change. As a consumer Where does your support go? Does it go to those who are loud and buoyant for the sake of it or to those are implementing change? Imagine what a difference it would make if we put our support in the right place. Our generations are so full of so many unsung heroes because as a society we give priority to Noise(Created Distractions) rather than truth.

Perhaps this is problem Change Makers mostly face, perhaps

“Well Organised Noise feels better than Not so organised change”.

The first element is that change makers in order to be noticed need to take their presentation more seriously than ever before. Poor presentation sometimes clouds the judgement of the consumer and erodes trust.

The second element being that sometimes human beings would rather be distracted by a puppet master and his array of entertaining contributions than awoken to the reality of their own personal responsibility to make meaningful contributions. Unfortunately there are not many ways to make responsibility fun(foolishly exciting) except training people to see the benefits of being responsible.

For example we celebrate and are constantly entertained by musicians and artists who have risen and profited fromtelling their stories in mostly harmful ways and the stories of the suffering masses but how many of them encourage true honest entrepreneurship or personal development beyond perfecting their artistic perversion? How many of them call on you to make better decisions than they have made. Most probably know that to suggest you change could mean they lose your custom reducing their financial bragging rights. So how about they encourage the fool in you and use your money to live smart.

Ironically because they voice our pain or blatantly abuse it both of which strike a deep chord in the heart of the hearers they get the accolades as though there are no people who actualise change. How many of them really put you and I in a better position to actualise the dream we carry?

Other examples include, those people who campaign for women to change their ways meanwhile they themselves take advantage of the same women they are trying to save, or the guru whose message is true for everyone but is a stumbling block to himself/herself. Realistically speaking a great many of us will be trapped in the slumber of our entertainment.

Call it a far fetched dream or a deeper search for significance but Im pushing on to the day that those who actually mobilise change will be celebrated correctly even as they better present the change they propose.

The masses may not do it immediately, but who said you need masses to cause change?

Dont forget to pick up the new book written by myself and Lola Vito.

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For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks